Anyone Seen My Self-Esteem?

Welcome to My New Chapter in Life

It’s been a while since I blogged.

No, more like ages to me…

8 months to be exact.

I really don’t know what triggered me to write in the midst of year end exam week. But a short break from studying wouldn’t hurt, especially after finishing two papers so far (DIPSE aka Data Interpretation & Anatomy Spotter Test today). Oh, it’s called procrastinating effectively :o)

(Side note: What do you think of the t-shirt below? I’d grab a pair or two myself)

Absolutely cracking!

So, procrastinating aside, what has ambitious little Malaysian boy in UK been up to?

A heck of a lot.

Well for starters, I finally got my deepest, long-craved for, ‘ever-since-I-was-a-little-child-I’ve-always-wanted-to’ wish granted: a place in a medical school, in a country globally renowned for its supreme quality in education.

Queen’s Campus, Durham University: School for Health & Medicine

I’m pretty sure 99.9% of everyone I know will give me that ‘you’re-studying-where?’ face when I tell them I’m currently in Durham University. I don’t blame them, Durham isn’t exactly widely known for its Medical degree. In fact, I’d probably scratch my head & wonder myself had I not been offered (correction: had it not been my only ass-saving offer!).

As I’ve explained in my last blog, Durham only provides a 2 year pre-clinical curriculum to its applicants before we are merged with the Newcastle medics for the remaining 3 clinical years. At the end, the degree will be awarded by Newcastle University, so you can say that it’s an alliance between Durham-Newcastle University.

To make matters more confusing, I’m at Durham’s 2nd campus which is in Stockton-on-Tees, 37km south of Durham (Durham has 2 campuses) Here’s a link to de-confuse yourself:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Durham_University

A few pictures around my campus

When we first started, we had 9am-5pm lectures daily.

Yes.

9:00AM - 5:00PM

No shit!

Now doesn’t that sound much like an office job? But thankfully it was only for the first week (God loves me after all!), and now we only have 9-5 on Mondays, Tuesdays & Fridays. Wednesdays are half days (or free days for certain courses like Business)

Thursdays are half days as well, but we have ‘Community Placement’ after lunch, which is basically volunteer work at a charity/school/organization. As for me, I’ve been gaining invaluable experience volunteering at an HIV Charity based in Middlesbrough called Teeside Positive Action. Very C.A.S-ish, like back in KMB, minus the ridiculous CAS prison uniform shirt we were forced to wear.

Anyway, I better save the rest of the story for another day. Gotta cram some more before this Friday’s MCQ/EMI (Multiple Choice Q + Extended Matching Items) paper. A massive burden will be taken off my shoulders once the MCQ/EMI is over, because my last paper next Tuesday is the OSCE (Objective Structured Clinical Examination).

It’s kind of a fun exam, because we will have to do things like conduct an abdominal/chest examination on a ‘patient’ (paid actors, really, and most definitely male), basic communication skills (also with a ‘patient’), and finally CPR (unfortunately not on a ‘patient’ but a dummy)

Basically just needs repetitive drilling instead of sticking my nose into notes for hours, which I’m seriously getting sick of!

Good luck for those having exams, and damn I envy you if you’re done with yours!

P/S: I’ll be stepping onto Malaysian soil once again, come 1st June 2008, 11:45pm

As you all are
aware of, I’ve been publicly distressed for the past couple of months due to my
final exam results & my rejection by Newcastle.
Well, things took an unexpected turn today - I got an offer from Durham
  University, UK

The Trip to MARA HQ

You see, today I was at the MARA (my beloved sponsors) Head Quarters in
KL to inquire on my options available. Since I have not secured a placement so
far through Clearing (refer previous posts) and was rejected by Newcastle since mid-August, I was preparing for the worst. I really needed to confirm the
rumour from my friend that MARA will no longer be sending students to IMU
(refer to "Goodbye IMU, Hello Bollywood?")

And so I met up with a few friends, one being my ex-roomate (shout out to Jo
Blu!!) who was very eager to go to India
& wanted assurance A.S.A.P. While my parents are giving me a major headache
not letting me to India,
this guy is getting a major hard-on from the anticipation to go to India!

Like chalk & cheese, as they say it.

(In case you haven’t heard, it’s the English version of ‘bagai langit dengan
bumi’)

So I began the Q & A session with Cik Zarisha, a cool lady at the Jabatan
Penganjuran MARA, and found out a few stuff:

- Yes, MARA is no longer sending students to IMU. She didn’t elaborate much (we
suspecting they’re finding ways to cut costs!) but did mention that it’s much easier
to fail at IMU than it is elsewhere + there will be interviews even on the
2nd year (W.T.F??)

- They’ll only send to M S Ramaiah Medical School, which is a private
medical school in Bangalore. It is
a 5 1/2 years MBBS (Bachelors in Medicine & Surgery) programme, and seniors
studying there are giving positive feedback. Plus, the approach there is more
hands-on (more cadavers @ mayat)

- Monthly allowance is US$700. You’ll practically become rich there
& you could really save a lot of money. She told me that a senior, who was
really depressed at the thought of flying to India
at first, in the end even got the chance to travel to Australia
AND UK AND Europe.

Oh yeah, now everyone would be dying
to go to India.

The Miraculous Phone
Call

Out of the sudden I got a call from an unidentified Selangor number. It happens
to be a call from MABECS (Malaysian British Educational Co-Operation
Services) which handles applications of KMB students bound for UK.
At first, the lady on the other line asked regarding my Newcastle applications, of which I told her was unsuccessful.

She said she’ll call me back, of which she did minutes
later. And that’s when the unexpected good news came, in her own words, “Newcastle University has accepted your appeal, and is offering you entry into their 5 year
Medical degree, through the Durham route”

No.

F*cking.

Way!

 
I was speechless beyond words; shell shocked; rocked to my
very core with disbelief; and eyed dilated and wide.

I finally got my wish.

The fact hasn’t really sunk in, and I’m still bewildered by
the drastic change of fortune at the 11^th hour. Of course, my
parents were more than elated that their prayers were granted, and their son is
finally going to read Medicine at UK.

Surprisingly, my friends were overjoyed even more than I am (still in shock,
can’t even feel joy yet!)

Explanation for the
Confused Souls

Ok, let me elaborate, since so many have asked.

University of Durham (refer to Stockton on the map) is about 1 hour from Newcastle University, both located on the
North East of United Kingdom.

Durham University & Newcastle University developed a partnership, in which students applying for Newcastle may choose to do either:

1) 5
years at Newcastle University (main campus in Newcastle), or

2) 2
(Pre-Clinical) years at Durham University campus in Stockton, then 3 (Clinical)
years at Newcastle University campus.

Get it?

In the end, for both routes (either the former or the
latter), graduating medical students will obtain an MBSS (Bachelor of Medicine
& Surgery) degree from Newcastle University, so basically I will be
studying at both Durham and
Newcastle.

Or did I further confuse you guys?

Leaving On a Jet
Plane

Anyway, since I haven’t officially received the offer
letter, which MARA is asking for to quickly handle with the moolah ($$$) allocation, I don’t really
know when I’m expected to leave for Durham.
But I figured it would be around 18^th
September which is when my friends going to Newcastle University will be flying.

Before I slap myself silly and say this is all a dream, I
checked my UCAS (University College Admissions Something, which handles
applications to UK universities) Track website and my doubts were thrown out the window.

When You Believe

I never thought a miracle would happen, especially since I’ve
really lost all hope with the dawn of September.

Don’t get me wrong, I do believe in God and his Divine
Preordainment (Qada’ & Qadar) but
I was really down when Newcastle rejected me earlier due to 1 point short of the minimum requirement. Especially
with my parents seemingly more dismayed (or maybe embarrassed?) at my rejection
and pressuring me to go anywhere but
IMU/India, I was definitely not thinking straight.

God gave me another chance. He really tested my faith, but
with the pouring support & prayers from family & friends (a few of my
friends who went for their umrah too
prayed for my success – hats off to Hafiz & Fatin the Poyo) all is well in
the end.

There can be miracles,

when you believe,

though hope is frail,

it’s hard to kill..

Who knows what
miracles,

you can achieve,

when you believe,

somehow you will.

You will when you
believe.

(Whitney Houston & Mariah Carey’s “When You Believe)

God is great.

Praises be to Allah.

Thursday,6/9/2007 (5:44PM)

Life couldn’t be more full of potholes and bends, as what I’m facing at this moment.

Apparently, I received news from my fellow college mates who are currently left with no placement, after they didn’t do well in their Australia medical interviews. MARA will no longer send students to IMU if they don’t get any offers by mid September (or around that time)

The catch? They’ll be off to M S Ramaiah Medical School, India instead.

So much for having more reasons not to leave Malaysia (refer to ‘When Life Gives You Lemons‘ entry) And this has further more dismayed my mother (refer to previous entry), which now prefers IMU over India!

Only one picture pretty much summing up my feelings now:

*I need a break from all this*

9:21 PM, Friday (31/8/2007)

Today, it really occurred to me that perhaps my rejection by Newcastle University was a huge billboard reading:

                Do You Really Want to Become A Doctor?

Could it be a wake up call?

Or even a divine intervention from the Heavens?

A warning to rethink of my childhood ambitions to become a Neurosurgeon?

I’ve never really thought now would be a sort of crossroad. A crossroad where I should stop & ponder upon what my future would be like, starting with the next important decision that I make.

I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’m not simply chickening out due to a bump in the supposedly smooth road I planned. I’m not easily giving up my aspiration which captured my interest when I was a kid. I’m not merely throwing out of the window the 2 years foundation for my future  medical degree.

The thought had only came to mind last night, as I was staring into the darkness on my bed & furthermore strengthened by a conversation with my mother this evening.

You see, as mentioned in my previous entry, it didn’t really matter anymore to me where I did my undergraduate medical studies, as long as I gain that degree. But my mom begged to differ.

She’s been a General Practitioner (GP) for almost 2 1/2 decades now, moving from one hospital E&A (Emergency & Accidents) department to another, and currently is working at a clinic near Taman Dagang, Ampang. I’ve always wondered why she didn’t specialize into any specific area after graduating, but she never really gave an answer, & would usually ask me to drop it or beat around the bush.

Today she was feeling a bit exhausted, after doing a few chores in our level 8 apartment unit, and she had to work at 4pm (her shifts are either 9am-4pm @ 4pm-10pm @ worse, 9am-10pm on some weekdays). Around 4pm, she was all set to go to work, or so I thought. She began to break down into streaming tears & a fit.

First she complained how tiring it is to work like crazy almost every day of the week, without getting to take leaves on public holidays. Then she went on how her salary (only RM6k, after about 25 years of doctoring?) was always being paid late (sometimes at the end of 2 months later) & how she could barely cope with the mounting bills. Suddenly she began comparing how my dad’s now a big shot surgeon earning big bucks & living the ideal life while now she could barely afford a vacation or make ends meet (my parents are divorced since ‘93, on my 5th birthday to be exact…)

Amidst hiccups & tears, face a blush of maroon, she told me how her early marriage to my dad (they married when she was 19) destroyed her life & she couldn’t have the time or resources to do postgraduate studies. After all, she had to juggle between pregnancies & kids, a temperamental husband and work.

Now, she’s a 52 year old GP with a miserable life. She doesn’t want me to repeat her same mistake by not going to a prestigious university for my degree & not doing postgraduate studies, or even marry early (not like I want to). And apparently to her IMU isn’t good enough, as it will matter, when I start applying to study for neurosurgery after 8-9 years from now, from which university I graduated in.

Stressful.

Guessed how my dad responded? He was deeply disappointed that I didn’t live up to his expectation & started comparing me with one of my friend from college who happens to be one of his patient.

My friend (whom I shall not name) scored 41 points and is going to Melbourne (I think) next year, and he’s just a son of a Petronas officer. While I, the son of a respected, successful, posh ENT (Ear, Nose, Throat @ Otorlaryngology) Surgeon working at the widely known private hospital SJMC (Subang Jaya Medical Center) only secured a measly 37, and lost my only UK Medical School conditional offer due to that.

Great, more stress.

Do I really want to become a doctor?

Do I really want to devote my entire life to the wellbeing of others while I struggle through my personal life & render myself fatigued and beaten?

Do I really want to put other’s emotions first and putting aside mine, with noble compassion, and suffer what a horrible fate in my personal life akin to my parents’ divorce & my mum’s current situation?

Truth is, I don’t know for myself now.

God help me.

Thursday, 30/8/2007 (8:52PM)

It’s amazing how many friends & family responded in times of emotional devastation I was facing. I could not have pulled it through in one piece without you guys supporting my back.

For that, I salute you all.

Truth is, I had a lot in mind to blog about. From how I’m feeling better after much support from everyone, to the amazing Gwen Stefani concert on Tuesday (21/8/2007) to how some so-called ‘friends’ start showing their true colours when you need them the most. But I guess I just wasn’t ready to move on from absorbing all this positive energy or moral support surrounding me.

After all, who doesn’t appreciate a sense of belonging and sympathy from people around you especially when you’re feeling low?

So far, I’ve yet to receive any offer through Clearing, but after much thought and advice from my beloved mom & people who care, I don’t really mind not going to UK or Aussie to study.

You see, all this while it’s been a big dream come true for me to receive a scholarship by MARA to do International Baccalaureate (IB) at Kolej MARA Banting. I knew from start to end what I wanted (to become a renowned Neurosurgeon), & how to achieve it all:

1) Good SPM grades
2) Perform in MARA interview & get scholarship
3) 2 years doing IB @ KMB
4) 5 years UK Medical Uni
5) 2 years internship + 3 years service with MARA
6) 5-6 years of postgraduate specialization studies (Surgery –> Neurosurgery)

Life has so far been an amazingly breezy journey, with steps (1) to (3) completed. I mean, getting 11As in my SPM, getting that MARA scholarship and doing the wholesome, internationally-but-not-so-locally recognized IB diploma was too much to ask for! I was step by step gaining speed towards achieving my childhood ambitions planned out so well.

But when I realized that life was never a smooth voyeur from start to end, I broke down in frustration. The waves were just too violent, the strong winds weren’t always there to sail my boat, and the heavy storms were too frightening for me to go on.

I was a mess.

Yet, sooner or later, I knew I can no longer run away from the harsh reality that we face. I had to learn to move on, and never let past wounds to come back and haunt me.

It’s good that we learn from our mistakes and not let history re-occur, but it’s foolish to totally submerge ourselves in self pity and wallowing as if life is a totally unfair game played by Gods on us humans.

Life goes on.

And so, I don’t mind if I don’t get any offers through Clearing to prestigious medical schools in UK/Australia, or if I don’t get the chance to fly abroad and enjoy an exhilarating experience of a lifetime. It doesn’t matter.

What matters most is to get that medical degree, no matter wherever it’s from. What’s more important is my postgraduate studies, where the real challenge lies in.

Besides, lately I’ve been finding more reasons not to leave my country - a few strings of budding friendship, an offer to model for a local mag (no kidding!), and even a blooming romance. But I’m not telling

So let’s all enjoy life like we should, and make the best out of our stay on Earth.

After all, when life gives you lemons, make some f*ckin’ lemonade, dude!

Sunday, 26/8/2007 (7:39PM)

Finally, the agonizing wait for Newcastle University’s decision on my appeal ended. I didn’t make the cut.

For those clueless about what I’m blabbering about, I received an offer to study Medicine at University of Newcastle Upon Tyne in March. After a 50 minute grueling interview by a Caucasian professor with branching nostril hair & a weird demeanour (not to mention oddly matched clothes and a so-called hair do), they were kind enough to give a ‘conditional offer’. This means if I met certain ‘conditions’:

1 - scoring at least 38 IB points in my final exams,
2 - certified free of TB/Hepatitis B, and
3 - certified by the government that I have no criminal records;

only would I be fully fully guaranteed a place (or given an ‘unconditional offer‘ - it’s all mine!)

After months of torment in the form of terrible Pre-Trial & Trial Exams grades (imagine the lecture I got from my dad, who expected more from me) and weeks of IRP (Intensive Revision Programme, where we were sitted in groups of 4/5 and did past year papers) to the point of puking Maths literally, the IB Final Examination 2007 came and went in a blink of an eye.

I really thought I’d pass the mark, even though I was sure I did badly in Maths (my passion for doing easy SPM-level Additional Maths died when introduced to college-level Math), I had a tiny glimmer of hope inside that I did my best for the other 5 papers (even Business & Management, the boring-est subject in my entire 19 wasted years of life)

Wrong answer.

When the IB results were announced (refer to my post entitled "The Longest, Most Agonizing Wait of My Life… Prolonged") I had to wait further more since my Business & Management results were pending (not confirmed yet). Only 8 of the whole population of KMB had their results pending, so I was worried sick of what the outcome would be. After all, so far I only managed to gather 32 points - another 6 points minimum to pass the Newcastle benchmark.

One sombre night, a friend messaged me, telling the full results were finally out. Here goes nothing… and as I logged on to the website to check my results, reality struck violently - I only scored 5 points for my Business & Management paper, and my final total was 37.

1 mere point short of the minimum requirement. So close yet so far.

I was seriously devastated. My whole life seemed to crumble before my eyes, both still statically locked onto the screen.

I cried. I sobbed like a girl. And with wet tears drenching my cheeks and dissolving my huge ego, I slipped away from consciousness into a nightmarish sleep.

I woke up the following day, feeling much better and up beat. It wasn’t the end of the world after all, as I greeted the fuzzy warmth of morning sunshine bathing my skin. People were very supportive, especially family & close friends.

"Don’t worry, keep on praying. I’m sure they’ll overlook that one measly point and absorb you in!"

"You still have a chance! You excelled in the interview, for sure they’ll accept you! Cheer up "

I began to feel better. After all, in the conditional offer the Uni gave me, they did mention they would "…automatically consider my application from other aspects, such as performance during interview & Personal Statement, apart from the final results". Hope was still in sight.

But today all the ‘good luck’ wishes faded into oblivion as reality, once again, crashed in - they rejected me.

For one small point I was short of, they totally shut me out from hopes of embarking on a journey of a lifetime towards achieving a priceless Medical degree, with the humongous amount of experience awaiting to be gained.

Life is a bitch.

I didn’t bawl my eyes out dry like I did with my results. I even managed to smile it off. It wasn’t meant to be.

Again, the support came pouring in endlessly. After all, I was still eligible for ‘Clearing’ (where UK applicants with no successful placements will be given a second but slimmer-than-Nicole-Ritchie chance, in case any UK universities have vacancies to fill up)

There was still hope. Is there?

As reality sinked in, I accepted what fate shoved into my face - I could as well be bound to study locally, in case all else fails. IMU (International Medical University) which is located in Bukit Jalil will  be happy enough to accept me in since their minimum entry point for IB students is 33.

After 2 arduous years of overseas preparation course in KMB, after the numerous hours spent awake trying to make sense of lectures or meeting crazy deadlines for the endless list of assignments, after struggling to fulfill the 180 CAS hours with horrendous time management skills; after all that, I was possibly going to resume my studies in Malaysia.

Reality. I swallowed hard. After all, as long as I get to resume studying somewhere, I’ll still become a certified doctor, right?

I don’t care. Right now, I just don’t care.

Even if my Clearing chances turns out another ‘false hope’; even if a miracle happens and I do get to board that plane to Heathrow International Airport, London; I’ll manage.

I hope.

I really do.

Maybe…

Friday, 17/08/2007, 2:48AM

Who would’ve thought my luck would be on a roll?

The Halls of Vain… I Mean Fame Contest

Remember my ridiculously vain pictures where I was posing with a few Halls tube in hand?

Well, I wasn’t doing it because of my undying love for the fresh-breath-in-an-instant candies. Rather it was my ‘undying love’ for every chance to win free stuff and money (hey, who doesn’t?) In case you guys haven’t noticed, Hall’s candies were having a "Halls of Fame" contest (http://www.hallsoffame.com.my/main.htm) where they were on the lookout for one girl and one guy to be their model for their upcoming ad.

Having nothing better to do since college ended in May, I decided What the heck? and began my DIY home made ‘photo shoot’ holding the refreshing sweets in hand. And being the always last-minute person, I took the photos hours before going to my 5-day BTN camp (since the closing date was Saturday, while my BTN ends Sunday).

Upon the arrival August 2007, the selected 10 (5 girls, 5 guys) were shortlisted and announced on their website. After facing the disappointment of not being shortlisted (not because I’m desperate to become Malaysia’s first short male model, mind you) since they would each win RM200 even if they didn’t become the final guy & girl to be featured in the ad.

Bye bye, RM200

But I still had the chance to win other freebies by simply voting for the top 2 models: 10 Sony Ericsson K790a 3G phones, a Sony PSP for 2 frequent votes, and 100 Adidas bags for 100 early bird voters.

And so as my favourite phrase goes, What the heck? and I voted 2 very good looking models of choice (ever heard of non-good looking models?)

15 Days Later…

… or in other words today (16/08/07), I received an SMS saying that I was shortlisted to win the Early Bird prize (the Adidas bag). Whoopey! OK, so I didn’t win the Sony Ericsson phone or the frequent voter prize of a Sony PSP (and I would vote like hell for these unknown people because…?) but hey, I won something!

And I’ve always wanted to replace my obsolete bag, which is currently in a sorry state after years of carrying school+college books, and soon I will start my varsity years, so talk about good timing!

The Hotlink Reward Long Deserved

Earlier on today, I woke up to the chiming of my hand phone message tone. An SMS. It went something like this:

"Thank u for being our loyal customer!As a surprise gift,we have credited 200 Hotlink Rewards Pts into ur account!Continue to use Hotlink for more rewards(187A1)"

Well I’ll be damned, I thought. What a good way to start my day, with even more freebies. For those in the dark about Hotlink points (who told you to use Celcom or "The Overrated Yellow Man" Digi?), 200 points equals to RM2 of free airtime or 100 free SMSes to other Hotlink users. So currently, I have 500+ points which enables me RM5 of free airtime or 250 free SMSes to other Hotlink users.

Coolness!

Add these two the free Gwen Stefani concert tickets I won (refer to previous post), I must say, my lucky stars are shining brighter for some odd reason. It’s as if Lady Luck has a humongous crush on me & is hinting through these lucky events.

Or maybe God is just so awesomely Generous

Thursday, 16/08/2007 (3:25pm)

My my, is everyone curious how I won FREE (our all-time favourite ‘F’ word, besides the infamous profane one) tickets to Gwen Stefani’s Sweet Escape Tour in Malaysia.

And due to the sudden surge of ‘friends’ with weird reasons why I should bring them to the concert (from Kamil & Bil’s "I used to play with her when we were in diapers, she was my neighbour" to Patrick’s desperate-but-futile attempt of "GIVE ME THE TICKETS" testimonial), I’ll write a short account on how I got lucky for once and acquired the much coveted tickets.

The Hotlink SMS
One auspiciously boring day, as I was wandering aimlessly in the comforts of my apartment in utter boredom, I received an SMS from Hotlink. Apparently there was this ‘Hotlink Presents Gwen Stefani’s Sweet Escape SMS Contest‘ (was that lengthy or what?) in which lucky winners would win a pair (2) tickets to the concert, along with a goodie bag. Contest ends 5th August (Sunday). I didn’t give much thought about the contest though, since I never get lucky and end up wasting my precious prepaid credit. Plus, I was already thinking of forking out some money to buy the tickets (the cheapest being RM122)

However, for some weird but now obvious reason, I kept the SMS in my inbox (my usual habit is to delete read messages)

The Boring Kenduri
It was Sunday, 5th August. The venue was my new pal’s kenduri at Ukay Perdana, Ampang. It was a bright, sunny day with the sky a crystal turquoise colour. He was having a housewarming kenduri (although he’s moved in for quite some time, but better late than never, eh?) Since I just knew him from playing badminton at Ampang Sports Center a few weeks ago, I was basically surrounded by unfamiliar faces (relatives and friends of his) so aside from trying to eat the food (I just tightened my braces the day before, so all I managed to gobble down were some ketupats) I was bored to death. My friend had to entertain other guests too, so there I was sitting alone, periodically glancing at my watch.

Out of boredom, I decided to go through my inbox (another of my weird habits when bored) and there it was, the Hotlink SMS, still left unreplied. Remembering the closing date for the contest was today (5th August) and I had nothing else to lose/do, I gave it a shot.

The Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy Questions
It was very simple, actually - answer 3 multiple answers questions regarding Gwen Stefani in the fastest time. Being the MTV and entertainment mag junkie that I am, I chided myself that I knew enough Gwen Stefani garbage to answer multiple answers questions.

Question 1: What was Gwen Stefani’s debut album in 2004 called?
(A) The Sweet Escape
(B) Love.Angel.Music.Baby
(C) Hollaback Girl

Being the champion SMS-er, I swiftly keyed in my answer (obviously it’s B) and pressed the ‘Send’ button. Simple, maa, I said to myself. 1 down, 2 more to go.

Question 2: What is Gwen Stefani’s latest single titled?
(A) What You Waiting For
(B) Cool
(C) 4 in The Morning

For those who are clueless, the first 2 are from her debut album L.A.M.B, and so C it was. Are the questions no-brainers or what! Finally, the last question.

Question 3: In what year was her sophomore album ‘The Sweet Escape’ released?
(A) 2005
(B) 2006
(C) 2007

Ooh, this one I had to think, fast. I hesitated between B and C, trying to rack my brains for the exact time when I first heard of her first single off the album, "Wind It Up". Then the thought came to mind: Late December. Heard it at the DS in KMB from Afiq’s laptop. Jep & us singing it like crazy. 2006! And so B it was, although at the time I was still dubious over my answer.

Oh well. At least I tried, I said to myself, snapping back to reality with my pal finally having some time to talk with me.

The Phone Call
It was Friday, 10th August, minutes to afternoon, when I was woken up by the ring tone of my Nokia 6610i.

Hello..?, I groggily answered. Now who is this unfamiliar number disturbing my extended after morning prayers sleep?

Hello, Encik Ali, the guy on the other side said in Malay. Ini XXX dari Hotlink. Encik Ali sedang sibukkah?

Uh, from Hotlink? What the.. Eh, taklah, ada apa ni Encik? I uttered, leaving my thoughts hanging.

Saya ingin memberitahu bahawa Encik Ali telah memenangi 2 tiket ke Konsert Gwen Stefani pada 21 August 2007. Tahniah, Encik!

No shit?? But of course, that was just inner monologue. All I could blurt out was a skema, Oh ye ke?

I could’ve screamed, but I resisted until this kind sir hung up the phone. Manners first, after all. And after he finally did, I let out a huge "I’m going to Gwen’s Concert baby!" cry. I never got lucky. Well, so far as 2006, 2007 has been. It’s been pretty shitty with my mediocre IB exam results and all, but hey, you never know when you get lucky, rite?

Moral of The Story: Always take a shot at every opportunity available. Who knows, you might get lucky? The important thing is to try.

Oh, and I think I heard Fly FM (or was it Mix FM?) today announcing they’re still giving out free tickets for lucky callers through. Why not give it a shot?

P/S: I’m inviting the ‘kenduri’ pal from Ukay Perdana. If it wasn’t for his boring kenduri, I wouldn’t have resorted to jeopardize RM1.50 worth of SMS just to escape the boringness. Thanks, pal!

Tuesday, 14/8/2007, 4:47am

A poem written on a cold lonely night, by the pool of my apartment, gazing at the jet black sky…

Pristine

was the cool water

dangling my two feet are

underneath the ceiling of dark skies

with nothingness the view was

but a lonely star & a shy moon

hiding behind parades of milky clouds

hello, I am alone,

would you be my friend?

Serene

as I stare into the night

with no one in sight

I call for you, my friend,

to share my aching sorrows

to share my blatant emptiness

I know how you feel

and you know how I feel;

together, we stare at each other

like perfect strangers

in a brief moment of connection

why, do you mind

if I shed some pearly tears

so unlock my hidden fears

so to them, I may say goodbye?

Shining

with all your might

by your own self, tonight,

you burn with passion

your exuberance like a beacon

with no care in the world

you need not approval

you need not worry for what might be said

you dazzle & shine

until you shine no more;

I envy you

I can never do that

poisoned by vanity running up my veins

as if enchanted

as if bewitched

I worry and despair

to shut up my own self up;

I envy you

you need not please others

unabashedly you become you

and nothing but yourself

tell me, my friend,

would I be happier if I were you?

Hello

I greet the quiet circle of light

‘why, don’t be shy, Mr. Moon,’

I’m here with you

and you’re here for me;

seemingly

drowning you are

amidst a sea

of billowing clouds,

but never do you fail

to illuminate the rock I call home

how selfless of you

giving & keeping on giving

from the glowing red sun

yet you never are appreciated

for your kind generosity

providing a bit of lightlife

for my fellow ignorant humans

please forgive me

would you take a piece of my

heart, in humble return?

Vanish

you both do,

by marching clouds like soldiers

leaving me alone, once more

with no one to talk to

with no one to sing to;

I hang my head low

absorbing the peace & silence

in my haste, inside I cry,

‘Is nobody listening?’

‘Does nobody care?’

no matter how loud

on deaf fallen ears

they fall

Sighing

I stood up to leave

with a sad melancholy

I bid farewell to you

goodnight nobody.

26/7/2007

,

1:57am

A poem expressing my frustration of a father who barely communicates…

If only

you were warm,

I wouldn’t be left

out in the cold

fending for myself

lost, the world’s so foreign

to my naivety.

If only

you were understanding,

I wouldn’t be left

un deciphered

a maze too
complicated

for your ignorant eyes

resisting your
materialistic lures

of which you call affection!

Why, father

why won’t you comprehend?

If only

you were selfless,

I wouldn’t be left

wondering aimlessly

shutting you out

barring you from
my life

fall so hard
onto my weak feet

wounded,
scarred,

by thorns

you could’ve
saved me from?

If only

you were human,

I wouldn’t be left

so bitterly
somber

so boiling with
anger

so timidly
silent

so desperately
frustrated

so loveless
& lonely.

If only, father

but if only…

26/7/2007

,

4.42pm